Desi Knowledge Blog – The Balancing Desi

Hello Parents!

Do your children know the significance of Labor Day?   Well, the first Monday in September is celebrated as Labor Day in the US.  The equivalent of this holiday in most countries is May Day.  Like May Day, Labor Day celebrates the work force of the country.  To most kids, Labor Day may signal the end of summer and the start of the school year, or the day to do Back-to-School shopping, but many may not be aware that Labor Day is the day to   acknowledge and commemorate the economic and social contributions of US workers who have helped build a country that is healthy and prosperous (at least it used to be and let us hope to get there again!).  Labor Day was a victory for activists over child labor (children worked in mines and factories in unhealthy conditions) and long working days for adults and in the 1800’s was made into an official holiday to protect the rights of workers all over the country.

Knowing the history of Labor Day is important and we parents can use this as an opportunity to talk about work with our children.  As many psychologists agree, getting children to be engaged in “purposeful work” is very important to having children who feel competent, fulfilled and independent.  So,  getting kids to be working in a purposeful way, that is making their work important and relevant in the bigger picture, will help grow kids who are psychologically healthy, self-directed, self-reliant, motivated and confident—all necessary qualities for good leadership and citizenship, something we all aspire for our children. So, engage your kids in doing real “work” and not just kid stuff—give them important chores around the house, invite them to share their ideas and let them help with cooking and cleaning and organizing.  Let them use their hands, and their heads and hearts, all along knowing that you as parents “trust” them to do the best possible job that they can do.  So, in the spirit of Labor Day, here are some activities for your family.

• Work together as a family to make a meal and have a party
• Discuss important work you have done during the month or the year as a family or as an individual
• For older kids, brainstorm about interesting professions or what they might like to be when they grow up or get them to discuss a character from a book who did interesting work.
• Little kids can read books like A Job for Wittilda or Tortoise Brings the Mail.
• Talk about what traits various kinds of work may require.  What kind of work requires Patience? Or will power? Or Love? Besides the usual qualities of leadership, hard work etc.
• Little kids can make thank you cards for people who work hard in their lives.

Finally, I will leave you with this thought today by American Henry Ford who contributed a great deal to the economic health of the country:

“The man who has the largest capacity for work and thought is the man who is bound to succeed.” —My Life and Work

Happy Labor Day!

Signing off until next time,

Brunda Moka Dias

Hello Parents!

Every time the 15^th of August rolls around, I think of how I used to celebrate India’s independence, from the British, as a child growing up in India.  It was always a source of pleasure and pride for me to celebrate it in school and at home (a flag was hoisted at home too).  Even now, having lived away from India for a long time, I still like to commemorate the day.  I do it not only for myself but also for my children, so, they have a sense of their heritage and history.

Here are some ways in which you can mark the day with your children.  Of course, a brief history of the British presence in India and how we got independence from them is necessary, but based on age appropriateness.  For the vey young child, it can be explained as India’s birthday, but the older children can be given the history.

• Older children and one’s interested in Indian history can take a quiz to check/gain knowledge about India’s Independence.
• Young ones can draw the Indian flag (Tiranga Jhanda) and color it.
• Anyone can bake an Indian flag cake.  Kids as young as three can help with this activity and the fun part is eating it afterward.

Don’t forget to tell your children that the orange stripe in the flag has come to represent courage and sacrifice, the green for faith and fertility, and the white for purity and truth. Also, in the center of the white band children should paint a blue wheel with 24 spokes called the Asoka Chakra or dharma chakra. The symbol has Buddhist roots and is used to represent the “wheel of law” or justice.

• Patriotic songs such as Saare Jahaan se Achcha and poems such as Vande Mataram or can be read and explained to children.
• The national anthem, written by the famous poet, Rabindranath Tagore, (which can be a mystery to many Indians, unless one knows Bengali) can be read about and appreciated.
• Of course, reading the many Amar Chitra Katha’s with children, on important figures in the Independence movement and history, is a personal favorite.

The 15^th of August can be another opportunity to bond with your children about your common heritage!

Signing off until next time,

Brunda Moka Dias

Hello Parents!

Did you know that March is National Nutrition Month?  Originally started in 1973 as a week long event, it became a month-long occurrence in 1980.  Started by the Academy of Nutrition and Dietetics (formerly the American Dietetic Association), this campaign is all about making the right food choices and creating healthy habits.  I believe that it is important to raise our children with healthy eating practices since the food they grow up with influences their eating for a lifetime.  We as South Asians are at an advantage because our cultural food is generally healthy and unprocessed (unless you pour on the oil and routinely eat jalebis and gulab jamuns).  I also believe, like our first lady, Michele Obama, that gardening is a great way to get children started on healthy eating and combat childhood obesity and illnesses.

We are at the end of March and Spring has definitely and officially sprung, and so now may be a good time to start thinking about gardening for the summer.  Gardening is a wonderful, healthy way to teach kids about nutrition without beating it on their heads or lecturing to them (anyone with a “tween” or a “teen” knows that it doesn’t work!).  Getting them to plant vegetable seeds indoors that can be transplanted outdoors, and giving them a small space to garden in—be it a plot of land, or a part of the balcony for pots—will create a sense of ownership and pride.  Proposing exciting projects like how to grow a cucumber in a bottle or creating a bean tower will get them going and keep them interested.  Kids aged 9 and up can garden on their own without needing much help and younger ones will need supervision and guidance, but the benefits are well-worth the effort.  For example, parents can start and the young ones can help in the creation of a Pizza Garden with the goal of a summer garden, pizza party!  Even a child of 3 or 4 can be part of the gardening experience–nasturtium seeds are big enough for them to plant and once its grown they can even eat this edible flower.  They can dig, get muddy and enjoy it too!  I have known toddlers who started eating and enjoying tomatoes after having helped grow cherry tomatoes in a pot!  Methi seeds and dhaniya seeds grow with little effort and care and yield quick harvests—a good way to introduce kids to yummy daal with these healthy herbs and teach them about the different parts of the plant that can be eaten.  These are just a few ideas…so go ahead and get started and you will discover many, more ways of using gardening as a way of introducing good nutrition to your children and while you are it enjoy the bonding and gardening time with your kids!

Signing off until next time,

Brunda Moka Dias

Hello Parents!

Valentine’s Day is around the corner and most children may be making or handing out valentines to their friends at school, couples may be exchanging gifts usually chocolates and flowers….so while people get ready for this holiday, I find it interesting to look at this celebration with an Indian lens, but first its helpful to get the story behind it…

It is fascinating to look at the legends behind St. Valentine’s Day.  One legend is about a man named Valentine (or Valentinius), who was a Christian priest in third century Rome.  At that time, Claudius, the emperor of Rome, made it illegal for his soldiers to marry since he thought that it would take them away from defending Rome.  Valentinius though respected love and marriage greatly and began to marry the soldiers and their girlfriends in secret wedding ceremonies.  For this, and for practicing his religion, he was imprisoned and executed on February 14^th.  Since then, people honor the memory of Valentinius, by exchanging messages of love and friendship.  Another legend, refers to an early Christian named Valentine, in Roman times, who made friends with children and when he was put in prison for his religion, the kids tossed him loving notes through the bars of his cell window.

While educating our children about the original legends behind this celebration, we can also teach our children about love in ancient Indian mythology/literature.  Needless to say, the stories have to be age-appropriate.  We can tell them stories about Kamadeva the Hindu God of Love/Desire (performing a similar function to Cupid and often getting into trouble!)  Stories from the scriptures as the story of Savitri and Satyavan, a story about the love between a husband and a wife (this beloved tale is commemorated by  traditional married women in South India and other parts of India, on Vat poornima )or plays by Kalidasa about Malavika, Urvashi and Shakuntala are wonderful tales of love that also allow children to learn about ancient Indian culture and literature.  Amar Chitra Katha has many titles of such nature and would make lovely, off-beat gifts, for Valentine’s Day!

Of course, giving and receiving cards on Valentine’s Day is very exciting to people of all ages. Even the littlest children can make cards with supervision, and putting together a thumbprint heart card can be a fun activity for all involved.  Kids can also trace their hands on construction paper, cut it out, decorate it and write messages on it.  For the tween years, an afternoon party with Valentine’s Day crafts and some Valentine’s Day baking can be fun.  The teen crowd (and their parents) may enjoy a movie night with Bollywood/Hollywood romantic movies.  They can even write funny poems like this one called Antonio by American poet, Laura Elizabeth Richards.

So, no matter what you decide to do, make time to celebrate and cherish your loved ones! Wear red, eat chocolate, exchange valentines and enjoy your kids.

Happy Valentine’s Day!

Signing off until next time!

Brunda Moka Dias

Hello Parents!

November 24^th of this month or the fourth Thursday of November is celebrated as Thanksgiving Day in the United States.  The historical Thanksgiving has its roots in US history and points to the interactions between the early settlers and the Native Americans. While this celebration on the last Thursday of November is unique to the US, the idea of thanksgiving itself is a universal one. 

Many countries in the world celebrate Thanksgiving and some people even equate the Indian festivals of Sankranthi/Pongal (South Indian) or Lohri (North Indian) as being the South Asian “Thanksgiving” due to its connection with the harvest.  Of course, many religious traditions have specific thanksgiving rituals meant specially to give thanks to the deities for blessings received. 

So, no matter how you choose to celebrate thanksgiving–whether or not, you cook a Turkey, get together with friends or watch football on Thanksgiving Day–I would recommend that children be given the guidance to cultivate, what can be called the “Attitude of Gratitude.”  I think that this goes a long way in promoting the idea of thanksgiving or in other words being grateful for what we have.

To deeply inculcate the idea of Thanksgiving, it is useful to give it importance not just on a specific day of the year, but maybe once a week or even every day.  Giving thanks or showing gratitude to one thing that happened during the day at bedtime each night is one example of emphasizing this idea with children.

Here are some ideas for your Thanksgiving table this year:

–Invite someone who you are especially grateful to and acknowledge them at the table.  Children in the family can help make these Indian corn place cards for the meal and as a party favor.

–If you are getting together with friends and cooking a traditional Indian meal, or stuffing a turkey with all the fixings, or stuffing a chicken, or making a tur-duc-hen (who knew that this is a chicken in a duck in a turkey!)  …or if all this is too much for your vegetarian sensibility and you just want to stuff a pumpkin….then do whatever your heart pleases but include a thanksgiving blessing at the start of your meal.  You could recite a familiar one or make one up for the occasion.

–You can go around the table and ask everyone to contribute whatever it is that they are grateful for. For children, this can become an activity in itself as they make a thanksgiving tree to commemorate the day. 

This reminds me of the story of a boy who was constantly being teased about wearing glasses by his classmates calling him names such as “four eyes.”  So, during a thanksgiving celebration, the teacher asked the children what they were thankful for, and she was surprised that the kid with the glasses answered, “My glasses.” He explained, “The glasses keep the boys from fighting me and the girls from kissing me.”  :)  Talk about turning a negative into a positive and being grateful for it!

–Finally, keeping this story in mind, it might be fun to ask each child to learn to say “thank you” in their mother tongue and any other languages that they might want to say it in.

So, enjoy your Thanksgiving Day…eat, drink, and let that attitude of gratitude show!

Signing off until next time,

Brunda Moka Dias

October 2^nd is the birthday of Mahatma Gandhi and this day is observed as Gandhi Jayanti in India.  October 2^nd has also been designated as the International Day of Non-Violence by the United Nations in June 2007 at the initiative of the Indian government. Gandhi’s message is very important in today’s world of unrest, and uprisings and promoting nonviolence with children can be the first step in helping our world.  We can help our kids understand the importance of nonviolence and peace by educating them about Mahatma Gandhi  (my last year’s Gandhi Jayanti blog is one source) and introducing nonviolence in their lives through cooperative games, stories, compassionate behavior and plugging them off media that promotes violence.  Of course, be cautious about the age of the child.  A very young child might have trouble understanding concepts and so it might be necessary to approach it very creatively and age-appropriately.

Here are some ways to raise consciousness and bring awareness to our children about nonviolence and peace:   

–Promoting values of compassion through role playing or creative play can be beneficial. The Institute for Peace and Justice has this wonderful list of activities on nonviolence for grade school kids which can help foster wholesome values.

–Teaching kids about compassion  to all living things and the environment is a great step to nonviolence.  Performing random acts of kindness, volunteering and most importantly modeling compassionate behavior goes a long way in inculcating this value.

–Story telling is a powerful tool of instruction because it is done creatively and not didactically.  Educators for Nonviolence is a group that has this great webpage on stories for children in grades K-8.

–Playing Cooperative games that emphasize fun, challenge and working together over defeating someone encourages empathy.  Cooperative Gym games can also emphasize team building.

–Informing children about the Nobel Peace Prize and its recipients who have worked hard for peace in different arenas of life can play a role in providing wonderful role models for our youngsters.

My hope is that October 2^nd becomes a much more popular day of celebration as the birth of Mahatma Gandhi and the day of Non-Violence and Peace all over the world.  In the meantime, let us do our part as parents to help our children lead a nonviolent and compassionate life and celebrate our shared heritage with Gandhi-ji.  As he once said:  “Be the change you wish to see in the world”

Peace Be With You!

Signing off until next time,

Brunda Moka Dias

Hello Parents!

Today is Ganesh Chaturthi, the birthday of Lord Ganesha, the elephant-headed Hindu God.  He is prayed to at the start of worship and the beginning of any auspicious work as he is the deity who removes obstacles and ensures the smooth flow of events.  He is the Lord of Power and Wisdom.  He is the eldest son of Lord Shiva and the elder brother of Skanda or Kartikeya.

The story about Ganesha’s birth and how he came to have the head of an elephant is popular and interesting.  However, I would caution parents about telling this story to very young children who may not be ready for it.  I remember telling my child when she was about 3 or 4 years old and she was distressed about it (and ambivalent toward all dads) for quite a while afterward.  I have learnt my lesson since then about only narrating only age-appropriate stories (or creatively editing them as needed!) 

Once upon a time, the Goddess Gauri/Parvati, while bathing, appointed Nandi (Shiva’s attendant) the guard and told him not to allow anyone to enter while she went inside for a bath.  But Nandi let Shiva in and infuriated Parvati, who then decided to create a being for herself, someone who would obey her instructions.  So, Ganesha came into existence and became Parvati’s guardian.  Once, upon returning home, Lord Shiva was stopped by Ganesha at the gate. Shiva became angry and cut off Ganesha’s head. When the goddess came to know of this she was sorely grieved. To console her grief, Shiva ordered his servants to cut off and bring to him the head of any creature that might be sleeping with its head facing north. The servants went on their mission and found only an elephant in that position. The sacrifice was thus made and the elephant’s head was brought before Shiva. The Lord then joined the elephant’s head onto the body of Ganesha.  Lord Shiva made Ganesha worthy of worship at the beginning of all undertakings, marriages, expeditions, studies, etc.  He instituted that the annual worship of Ganesha should take place on the 4th day of the bright half of Bhadrapada.

This festival is celebrated with pomp in Maharashtra and the Southern part of India, but celebrations abound in many parts of the country.  Children enjoy the festivities and the sweets.  Activities for children can include making of the murti with clay or mud, doing the fun crossword, learning slokas and singing an Arti.   This festival also, interestingly, connects to a legend of Krishna and the Symantaka Gem.  It is believed that Lord Krishna worshipped Ganesha to rid himself of the false accusation of having stolen the gem.  I still read the Amar Chitra Katha version of this story to my children every year.  So, have fun and enjoy the birthday of this cute, round, elephant-headed deity with your kids.

May Ganesha bless us all!

Signing off until next time,

Brunda Moka Dias

Hello Parents!

The onset of the Hindu month of Shravana marks the beginning of the celebration of quite a few festivals.  Nag Panchami, or the festival that celebrates snakes and serpent deities is celebrated at the start of Shravana (the fifth day) and is observed in various parts of India.  I have fond memories of going to the ant hill (where snakes used to live) with my mother as a young girl to offer milk and say prayers to the Nagas.  The reverence that this festival created in me towards the presence of the divine in animals is still something that I cherish. 

I attempt to convey such feelings of reverence and celebration to children, growing up away from India, so that they see the snake in positive light and not just as an evil creature. The snake in Hindu mythology is a creature of divine powers.  The snake is a fertility symbol and a protector deity.  Images of Vishnu supine on SeshaNaga  or the image of Vasudeva carrying baby Krishna in the rain while the Naga acts as an umbrella, or the Naga as a protection over Lord Buddha are all important symbols that point to the relevance of the snake deities in South Asian cultures and traditions.

Legend has it that the Nagas had taken away the rains from earth and a king used his tantric powers to summon the rains back, but to show reverence to the Nagas, he instituted a day to celebrate the snake clan, and thus emerged Nag Panchami.  Another story describes a farmer who killed a snake while tilling his land.  The Nagas became enraged and destroyed his family except for a daughter who prayed to the Nagas.  So, it is said that people who worship the Naga on this day will never be bitten by a snake.  Then there is the story of Krishna and the snake Kalinga (or Kaaliya).  It is believed that Krishna tamed the snake that harassed the humans around it, on the day of Nag Panchami.  People in some parts of India also worship snake goddesses on Nag Panchami.  Nag Panchami is also the Raksha Bandhan of some parts of South India where siblings celebrate their bond and vow to protect each other.   It would be an interesting exercise to trace the regional celebrations of this ancient festival based on your family’s origins in India.

As activities, mainly for older kids, finding out the names of the various snake deities in the Hindu tradition such as Manasa (the queen of snakes and the mother of Astika,) Astika (half-brahmin and half-snake) or Vasuki (the snake that was used as a rope to churn the ocean for amrita) can be fun. Older children can also explore some other cultures that celebrated snake deities (Aztecs, Greeks, for example) in the ancient world.  Legends and stories of Nagas can also be told to younger children to dispel their fears. 

Along with the legends and stories, in my opinion, this festival also indicates a way of bringing about harmony between the human and animal worlds.  The snake is a feared reptile and the festival is a positive way of featuring the Naga without fear or violence (of the human killing the snake or the snake biting the human).  Nag Panchami is also a reminder of the strong connection between the humans, snakes and Gods of the Hindu tradition. These various images of Nag Panchami can strengthen this understanding.

Happy Nag Panchami!

Signing off until next time,

Brunda Moka Dias

Hello Parents! 

Now that most schools are closed and summer is upon us, I feel the need to blog about summer fun with the kids.  Isn’t it always a challenge as to what to do with the kids when they are home without resorting to constant media?  Turning to Mother Nature (we moms often have the answers!) can provide a good solution to this challenge and lead to a wealth of other benefits.  Research (old and new) shows that kids who spend time in nature are less stressed, more confident and healthier than kids who don’t, and anyway, summer is the time to be out and about, so why not enjoy the outdoors and maybe even bring it indoors, if need be!  Running bare feet, drinking cold home-made lemonade and playing in sprinklers can make for wholesome, summer fun, but here are other suggestions for enjoying some of Mother Nature’s gifts—the garden, the flowers and the birds.

Gardening can be a wonderful summer activity for children.  Just the sheer joy of watching something grow (not to mention the education that goes with such an activity) and harvesting it is a great sense of accomplishment for children.  The kids are also more willing to eat something they have grown so be it a sunflower or a herb, it can be a lot of fun.  Personally, I get my kids to sow dhaniya seeds and methi seeds so I can have fresh hara dhaniya and methi leaves to cook with. 

While gardening and enjoying the herbs and the beauty of flowers, children of a range of ages can also use them artistically by pressing flowers/leaves to make cards, coasters, or placemats.  Presenting these beautiful, floral artifacts to a favorite grandparent or aunt can create lasting memories too.  Flowers also make amazing dyes and older children can tie dye using flowers and berries.  Marigolds when boiled in water make a pleasant yellow/saffron color that can be used to dye scarves or clothes.  I cherish one such scarf given to me as a Mother’s Day gift.  Beets, purple cabbage and zinnias all produce nice shades of color.  Turmeric can also be added to flower dyes of similar shades (anyone into Indian cooking can attest to the staying power of haldi on clothes).  Kids will be surprised to realize that Dyeing with plants can be an exciting activity that is enjoyable and filled with learning.

Summer flowers are a feast for the eyes and the birds.  Once you have a garden, the birds show up. So, the kids may as well make an easy milk jug bird feeder at home and invite the birds with food.  It is fun to slather a pine cone with peanut butter, roll it in birdseed, tie a string and hang it on a tree.   The kids can then watch the feathered friends have a great dinner. 

All these activities can be fun for a mixed-age group of children and the supervising adults, but if it all gets to be too much then get the kids to make some cold nimbu paani–don’t forget that pinch of elaichi–put your feet up, and enjoy the drink.  If there is any left, the children can have a lemonade stand and everyone can enjoy the lazy days of summer.  Keep cool, folks!

Signing off until next time,

Brunda Moka Dias

Hello Parents! 

The lull in the Hindu festival season prompts me to ponder about India–particularly the pursuit of trivia about India.  The “fun facts” I list are trivia, but I for one enjoy trivia and get a kick out of knowing that India has the most number of post offices in the world or that chess was invented in India, as was steel. 

Regardless of your position on trivia though, such information can lead to interesting conversations and shed some light about India on a variety of topics.  One thing to keep in mind is that just because of the sheer number of people in India, adjectives such as biggest, or largest, get used often reflecting the population of the country more than anything else.  Nevertheless, here goes:

DID YOU KNOW THAT:

• The first university ever to be established was in a place called Takshashila in India in around 700-800 BC?  While oral history informs us about Takshashila, it is recorded (in a book titled Education in Ancient India ) that Nalanda University in Bihar was the first modern university to be established in the 5^th century AD.
• The Indian Railways is the world’s largest employer with over a million employees?
• India is the world’s largest democracy?
• Indians excelled in Math? 

The inventions of the number system (once known as the Hindu numeral), the decimal system, contributions to Algebra, Trigonometry, Calculus and the value of “pi” are all attributed to Indian mathematicians of yore. 

This puts the Indian obsession with Math into new perspective!!!

• India is the largest English speaking nation in the world?
• The game of Snakes and Ladders was invented in India as a game of morality?
• Despite the popularity of cricket, India’s national sport is field hockey?  India won its first gold medal in field hockey at the 1928 Olympics.
• Tirupathi (with a temple dedicated to Lord Venkateshwara) is the most visited place of worship in the world?
• Jews have been living in India since the 11^th century mainly in the South Indian city of Kochi (formerly Cochin)?
• Dance (classical) is the most prominent and developed of art forms of India?

 While the facts listed above may be interesting, the most fun may be in coming up with your own list of “fun facts” of India.  When I asked my kid about a fun fact about India, she recounted how much fun she had walking down the street from her grandparents’ apartment in Mumbai and stopping to drink “nariyal paani” whenever she chose. 

Based on your travels in India, it might be a creative exercise to get your kids to compile a list of “fun facts” of their own.  You might be surprised at what they come up with! 

Signing off until next time,

Brunda Moka Dias