Desi Knowledge Blog – The Balancing Desi

For this blog posting, I am in the unique position of actually being in India while writing it.

My impromptu field work took place today during a trip to Pune, but proved to be somewhat fruitless. I was visiting my first cousin, who has a school going daughter in Class 1. I asked my niece casually how her school was, and her grandmother (my aunt) explained to me that she was still on vacation for Diwali. Then her mother added that had she been in school, she would have participated in Children’s Day festivities, but that they weren’t doing it this year. Yikes! I was supposed to write an article for the blog! Quick! Ask some questions. My aunt helped me by offering some more information, saying that during her childhood, Children’s Day was a rather large and elaborate event at school. However, our visit was a social one, and turning the discussion into an interview seemed a little inappropriate so I left it at that.

I wondered what sort of elaborate activities might happen on Children’s Day in India. On our drive back, I noticed a small ferris wheel set up downstairs from the flat. Normally the ferris wheel isn’t there. Maybe it was a Children’s Day event. I’m grasping, I thought. I better hit the ‘net.

Some quick searches on daily news in India (remember, I’m in India, so my Google News page is India first) give me some better insight. The Times of India reports that in Ludhiana, one school’s “main attractions were movie shows and picnic on the school premises.”, while another school organized “various competitions for student including musical chairs, spoon race.” In the typical Desi spirit of obsessive competitiveness one school “organized on-the-spot poster making competition and quiz.” Gee, I am sure glad I don’t attend that school!

Finally, at one school, perhaps most appropriately, “The students were taken for a picnic to Jawaharlal Nehru Rose Garden.” I think I’d rather go to that school.

The mention of the Rose Garden reminded me why Children’s Day in India is unique. In other nations, it is celebrated on November 20. However in India the holiday is held on November 14, because the date marks the birth anniversary of legendary freedom fighter and independent India’s first Prime Minister – Pandit Jawaharlal Nehru. This may explain why my aunt, who was born just after Indian independence, had vivid memories of Children’s Day during her youth.

Nehru’s contribution to India’s education system is notable. He was fond of children and thus became popular as “Chacha Nehru” (Uncle Nehru) among many young kids. Chacha Nehru was a leader in establishing public education for India’s children and also brought forth the idea of distributing free meals and milk to school children in India to prevent malnutrition.

While Nehru’s contribution is notable, I am seeing that today’s India is one that is vastly different than the one I saw during childhood visits in the late 70′s and 1980′s. While many children have considerable opportunities and are at times more privileged than children in the US now, there remains a segment of the children who have been excluded from these privileges. They are working in factories, tea shops or caring for younger siblings in slums. I hope that eventually these children will also be able to attend school and graduate, and of course participate in this thoughtful celebration. I propose that for this Children’s Day, you do something both enjoyable AND educational with your child. Perhaps something as simple as reading them some new books, or perhaps more adventurous, like a trip to the zoo or museum. But please, don’t give them a quiz about it if you can help it! Just enjoy!

Hello Parents!

It is time to celebrate again!  Not too long after the end of Dasara, we enter the month of Karthik in the Hindu calendar to celebrate Deepavali (“Deepa” meaning lights and “avali” meaning row, in Sanskrit) or Divali, one of the biggest and most well-known of Hindu festivals. 

In North India, Divali commemorates the slaying of the demon, Ravana, and the end of Rama and Sita’s 14 year exile in the forest and is thus a celebration of victorious homecoming.  Legends of Narakasura, Yama and Bali are also associated with Deepavali, and of course, Goddess Lakshmi features prominently in this season.  Given all these legends, it is no wonder that Divali is celebrated over a period of five days.  What day is most important and how it is celebrated depends on the part of India that one comes from.

The first day of Divali is called Dhanvantari Triodasi or Dhan Teras.  It is said that on this day, Lord Dhanvantari came out of the ocean with Ayurvedic medicine for the world.  Many people mark this day by cleaning the house and lighting a lamp to Yama (the God of Death) to pray for protection from untimely death.

The second day is Naraka Chaturdasi (also called Choti Divali, in parts of North India) and on this day Lord Krishna is said to have destroyed the demon Narakasura and made the world free from fear. Many people consider this to be the actual day of festivities In South India.  

The third day is the actual day of Divali and this is the day that people worship Goddess Lakshmi.  Lakshmi pooja is especially important for shopkeepers and business people.  People buy gold and silver and pray to Lakshmi for wealth and prosperity.

The fourth day is celebrated in the northern part of India as Goverdhan pooja and in the southern part of India as Bali Padyami.  Goverdhan pooja is celebrated as the day Krishna defeated Indra and by lifting of the Goverdhan hill to save his kinsmen and cattle from rain and floods.  Bali Padyami commemorates the victory of Vishnu, in his dwarf incarnation Vamana, over the demon-king Bali.  Bali was allowed to return to earth once a year, to light millions of lamps to dispel the darkness and ignorance, and spread the radiance of love and wisdom.  This is also considered to be New Year’s Day in some parts of India.

The fifth and final day known as Bhai Dooj (there are many other names for this day) celebrates the love and caring between brothers and sisters based on the story of Yama (the God of Death) who is said to have visited his sister on this day and bestowed a boon upon her.

Despite the diversity of legends, the common theme is the victory of good over evil.  It is the welcoming of light (righteousness, immortality, knowledge enlightenment) over darkness (demons, death, ignorance, false values) that all the legends highlight and this is an important aspect of the festival that can be brought to the children. 

While it is important to celebrate based on your family traditions, it is also useful to create new ones.  I especially love Divali because its universal message of good over evil can fit into any set up or culture.  So, here are some ways to celebrate with the children: 

• Making Diyas/Deepas with any material is a lot of fun for any age. I have used clay because it works well to put oil and a wick, or a tea light.  You can make new diyas every year, decorate it and create a famiy collection.  Making a lantern is also a good alternative to a diya.
• As you get ready for the Divali Lakshmi pooja, have the children make this welcoming toran/door hanging for the main entrance to the house or the pooja area.
• Pick a favorite recipe and make it with the kids or pick a new recipe like Divali pudding –it may be an interesting dessert to add to your list of sweets.
• If you live in a state where fireworks are legal, go ahead and re-live your childhood by lighting firecrackers with your children. 
• Teach your children a mantra and explain its meaning.  My favorite for Divali is this one from the Upanishads –Asatoma sad gamaya
• At a Divali party, find a good storyteller to gather all the kids and tell them stories/legends associated with the festival.  A puppet show about Divali during a celebration can be fun for the little ones.  Older children can take a quiz to learn more about the festival.
• Getting dressed up and exchanging sweets or nuts with friends and neighbors is fun and can create a sense of community and sharing. 

May your Divali be filled with love, light and laughter!  Happy Deepavali to you all!

Signing off until next time, 

Brunda Moka Dias

Dasara or Dussera is a popular and important festival celebrated all over India.  The culmination of Navarathri (or nine nights) of Goddess worship, Dasara is observed on the 10^th day of the lunar month of Aswayuja, and literally means Dasha-hara or “remover of bad fate” in Sanskrit.  While Dasara is celebrated in most parts of India, the stories behind the festival differ based on region, but the common theme of victory of good over evil pervades all the legends and celebrations. 

In the South, the stories point to Goddess Chamundeshwari/Durga’s victory over the demon Mahishasura, especially in Mysore (the city derives its name from the demon) famous for its regal Dasara celebrations.  Goddess Saraswati is also worshipped during this season and is an important day for students.  Dasara in the South also commemorates the victory of the Pandavas, as they emerge from their Agnyatavasa (incognito exile) in the forest on Vijaya Dashami, the last and most auspicious day of Dasara.

In the North, Dasara commemorates the victory of Lord Rama over the evil king Ravana and celebrations include and burning cracker-stuffed Ravana effigies and performing Ramlila.   For example, in Punjab, Navratri is observed as a period for fasting.  People worship Goddess Durga and gather to do Jagaran (stay up for most of the night) to chant and sing in praise of the Goddess. 

In the East and the Western parts of the country, it is the Goddess who is also worshipped and commemorated; in Gujarat, the Goddess is worshipped for nine nights in the form of dance and Durga pooja celebrations in Calcutta/Kolkata are widely known through India

Depending on where you come from and what Dasara means to you, you can come up with your own ideas, but here are a few ways to celebrate with the children:

1)     If you are from the South and you set up dolls or gombe/bombe (in Kannada) or golu/kolu (in Tamil), get the children involved in doing this.  It can become a yearly tradition and you can collect dolls (traditionally of gods and goddesses or you can expand it to include your children’s interest) and add a new one to the collection every year.  These collections will eventually become family heirlooms and treasured memories.

2)     If Dasara is about Lord Rama’s story in your family, create your own effigy of Ravana and burn it as a bonfire, or get the children (even the little ones can do this) to learn some poems about the festival.

3)     Regardless of whether it is the Ramayana or the Mahabharata that you are commemorating, all children might enjoy making a bow and arrow that these divine warriors carried.

4)     Have a garba/dandia party for the older kids with music and food.  Dance can then be seen as a form of worship as well as a communal celebration.

5)     A crossword puzzle about Goddess Durga to understand and commemorate Durga Pooja could be a nice activity for the grade school kids.

No matter what you do, make it fun and remember to tell them the stories–it feeds and empowers the children about their Indian heritage in seen and unseen ways. 

Blessings of victory and success to you and yours.  Happy Dasara!

Signing off until next time,

Brunda Moka Dias

Hello Parents!

If we lived in India, October 2^nd would be a national holiday to celebrate Gandhiji’s birthday, but since we live away from India, and the day usually goes by unnoticed, (even though October 2^nd is the International Day of Non-Violence in honor of Gandhi), I believe that it is important to remind ourselves of Gandhiji—who he was and what he stood for and pass on his message and methods to our children. 

Of course, I cannot talk about Gandhiji without recalling the “Gandhi jokes” from my teenage years.  Let me share a couple: 

Teacher:  What do you know about Gandhi Jayanti?

Pupil:  Gandhiji was the father of the nation but I don’t know who Jayanti was!

Or this one: 

God was promoting Family Planning and was questioning many freedom fighters on this topic. God asked Lal Bahadur Shastri how many children he had during his time on earth.  Shastri replied that he had three!  Happy with the relatively good family planning adopted, God gave Shastri a Mercedes!  God then asked Subhash Chandra Bose the same question. Bose replied that he had 10 children; God gets a bit upset and gives him a cheaper car, the Ford.  Jawaharlal Nehru is next and he decides that his answer is going to be fifteen children–God is pretty angry and gives him an inexpensive Maruti.  Sometime later, the three men see Mahatma Gandhi returning on foot. They ask why God hadn’t given him anything and Gandhiji replies with anger, “Some idiot told God that I was the father of the nation!”

I think that people tell jokes about Gandhi because it is easier than taking him “straight up.”   He beat to his own drummer and he was by no means an average or ordinary politician or leader and his strong determination to gain freedom for India from the British pointed to a strength of character that is not easily found in most people.  Albert Einstein is said to have remarked:  “Generations to come will scarcely believe that such a one as this (Gandhi) walked the earth in flesh and blood.”  While there is plenty to read and learn about Gandhi’s biography, here are ten things about Gandhi to share with your children:

• Mohandas Karmachand Gandhi was born on October 2, 1869 in Porbander, Gujarat to Karamchand and Putlibai.
• He was married to Kasturba when he was only 13 years old in May 1883, an arranged child marriage.
• He studied Law in London and then moved to South Africa.
• In South Africa, Gandhi faced discrimination because he was Indian.  He was thrown off a train after refusing to move from the first class to a third class coach as even though he had a first class ticket.  This incident was the political awakening that led him to explore ways of resistance.
• He is known as the Father of India and helped gain Indian independence from the British through the means of Satyagraha (“satya” meaning truth and “agraha” meaning insistence) and Ahimsa (non violence).
• He was deeply influenced by the following works:  the Jain text, Acaranga Sutra, the Hindu scripture Bhagavad-Gita and the Christian teaching, Sermon on the Mount.
• Dedicated to exploring and discovering the concept of Truth in its many facets, Gandhi recorded his life, in an autobiographical book called The Story of My Experiments with Truth.
• Despite many nominations, Gandhi never received the Nobel Peace Prize.  However, he was Time Magazine’s Man of the Year in 1930 and also the runner-up to Albert Einstein as “Person of the Century” in 1999.
• Gandhi was influenced by the work of the American transcendentalist, Henry David Thoreau, and his concept of civil disobedience.
• On 30 January 1948, Gandhi was assassinated in Delhi by a fundamentalist Hindu, Nathuram Godse, while on his way to prayer. His last words were: “Hey Ram!”

Some ways to commemorate Gandhi Jayanti:

• Teach the children Gandhiji’s favorite bhajan, Raghupati Rahava Raja Ram
• Get the children to read his books, if they are old enough, or get them an Amar Chitra Katha comic book, if they are younger. 
• Have a discussion about Gandhi and his times at the dinner table.
• Even a small part of the day spent in some sort of community service would be a very appropriate (soup kitchens, nursing homes, etc.) and would bring out Gandhi’s message of serving others and helping the downtrodden.
• A creative assignment could be to pick out a contemporary conflictual situation and to envision Gandhi as a peacemaker in that situation.  What would he have done? And how?  This could be a productive way of engaging older children to dig deeper into his concepts and ideas.

I end with one of my favorite quotes from Gandhi: 

“Be the change you wish to see in the world”         

 Signing off until next time,

Brunda Moka Dias

“Do you speak Indian?”

This is a common question I have heard throughout my life, especially growing up in the mid western United States. I often laughed in my head as I answered with a short lecture about languages in India and South Asia. It’s not quite like asking someone if they speak Italian.

“Well”, I would say professorially, “there are several different languages in the South Asian region, and hundreds of dialects inside those languages.” If the listener still demonstrated an iota of interest, I continued, but if they appeared to have hoped for a yes or no response, I simply answered quickly that yes, I know another language but I tend to speak mostly in English.

It takes some patience to understand just how important language is in India in terms of local culture and tradition, mostly because there are simply so many possibilities.

The first easy “rule” is that languages tend to revolve around geography – in Maharashtra they speak Marathi, in Uttar Pradesh it’s Hindi, in Tamil Nadu, Tamil and so on. However, there are several fuzzy regions within these clean delineations that some (myself included) may encounter. In my own experience, I can cite one such example. Consider a Bengali from West Bengal, and another from Bangladesh. The differences in Bengali between these two regions are noticeable owing to many reasons too numerous to list here. My own father and I agree that both of us can only understand about 40% of Bangladeshi Bengali. My dad has the advantage of a native speaker, yet he admits he is unfamiliar with that version of Bengali. However, both of us can read signs in the same script – Bengali script.

Script may be a unifying tie in the case of Bengali, but a counterexample lies nearby, in Maharashtra. One who can read Marathi automatically knows the same script as Hindi, which is Devanagari. However that person may not know Hindi. This is true of Nepali language as well, which is also written in Devanagari.

In some cases, cultures that are rich in history and traditions have lost their original script and been replaced or modified. One example is Kashmiri, the official language of Kashmir. It is a mystifying blend of Persian and Sanskrit and originally written in Sharada, an 8th century script. It is a language unlike anything I have ever heard, replete with sounds similar to what I hear in both Chinese and Hindi, all uttered with the poetic rhythm of Farsi. I can only imagine the exciting past of this language, which developed in a region where three cultures met and mixed thousands of years ago.

Finally, some families might find themselves speaking a dialect of another more recognizable language. One close friend of mine explained that her family spoke some kind of mixture of Kannada (Karnataka) and Tamil rather than the pure version of either language.

The map below illustrates where India’s primary languages are spoken. If you child is wondering why his friend’s mom (at school, at the temple, at dinner parties or wherever he or she sees Desi friends) speaks a completely incomprehensible language, point your child to this map. You can suggest that there are so many languages here, rich with history and culture, that it makes every language special and unique just like your child is.

And if your child becomes curious about scripts, you might show them this map (although I challenge you parents out there to actually succeed in reading all of these state and language names):

Like all languages around the world, the essence lies largely in culture, tradition and history, which drives many Indian parents to hope that their children pick up at a bare minimum, the ability to understand their own culture’s language. However in the United States, the melting pot of culture and primarily English education often overshadows a child’s bilingual (or trilingual) leanings. A previous blog post gives several tips on how to emphasize your culture’s language at home.

Hello Parents: 

It is the end of the Hindu month of Shraavana and we end it with a bang by celebrating the birth of Lord Krishna, one of the main deities of the Hindu pantheon.  Krishna Janmashtami, also known as Gokulashtami or Krishna Ashtami can be a wonderful opportunity to celebrate the 8^th of the 10 (Dasha Avataras) incarnations of Vishnu.  Krishna is a popular deity who is worshipped across the length and breadth of India and beyond.  The incarnation of Krishna, the ever-popular God is referred to as the “Poorna Avatara” (literally, complete but figuratively, the Supreme incarnation). 

I personally consider this incarnation to be “complete” because Krishna is the most accessible of all the deities and a figure that a person of almost any age can relate to.  What makes him so accessible to me are his various forms that resonate with the different aspects of being human.  So, we have Krishna on a leaf with toe in mouth, the crawling baby with butter in hand, the naughty boy breaking the butter pot, the sly young man stealing the clothes of gopis, the amicable cow herder in the fields with his brothers and cows or the Supreme divinity giving advice to Arjuna on the battlefield of Kurukshetra. 

Krishna’s appeal spans a broad spectrum of ages and being such a popular God, Janmashtami is observed in different parts of India in a number of ways.  In some parts of South India, people fast through the day, make elaborate preparations and do a puja to mark the birth of the baby at midnight (or close to it).  In parts of North India and Maharashtra, Krishna’s birth is celebrated by breaking the “dahi handi,” a pot filled with butter or yogurt.  Others observe it by doing a “Jagaran” (a vigil till midnight) and singing bhajans or doing enactments of the birth story.  The many ways in which Krishna is celebrated can lead to very creative ways of commemorating his birth. 

•  For example, the “dahi handi” celebration can be used as an inspiration to create a tradition of breaking a Krishna-themed pinyata to fit into the context of celebrations in the US.  Get the children to make a home-made pinyata and fill it with things relating to Krishna like peacock feathers, toy flutes, toy figures of cows and calves etc. and have fun breaking it.  
• More than any other deity, Krishna is equated with fun and naughtiness.  What I personally love handing down to my children are the stories.  There is an abundance of stories about Krishna.  Stories make him more lovable and a figure they can relate to in their child-like imagination.  Amar Chitra Kathas are a great resource in this regard.
• Activities that I have engaged my children in for Janmashtami include making a scene of Krishna’s birth.  Creating a jail scene with beeswax, or modeling clay is a hands-on way of getting involved and knowing the reason for the celebration.
• Making up crossword puzzles, word scramble games or matching games is a great way for older kids to get more familiar with the stories and legends.
• Getting the kids dressed up as Krishna or a Gopi is something that I love to do as a mother.  It’s a lot of fun and sets the mood for the younger ones who can get very much into the role-playing.
• Doing a craft  to commemorate the day is an enjoyable way of sharing important attributes (like his dark skin, a peacock feather in his hair, a flute in his hand etc.) of Krishna with the children. 
• Decorating for the festival can take the form of rangoli.  Little footprints to indicate Baby Krishna is a literal and metaphorical way of entering into the festive mood.
• Finally, reciting mantras  and slokas or singing bhajans with children is a long-term way of keeping traditions and festivals alive and giving deeper meaning to the rituals.  

Of course, no celebration of a birth is complete without the sweets—so go ahead and prepare sweets that your own children enjoy and laden it with butter in the name of Krishna!

 HAPPY JANMASHTAMI AND KRISHNA JAYANTI TO ALL OUR READERS!

 Signing off until next time,

 Brunda Moka Dias